Who Can I Trust
by j.m.rizzles
Summary: Okay so I'm sure everyone knows how everything went with the whole jane shooting paddy thing right. well what if the whole BPD turns on jane when shit hits the fan. And when I say everyone I mean everyone including Jane's family. (I don't own any of the characters )
1. Chapter 1:hell on earth

"Why, would you shoot my father jane!" A very angry maura isles screamed as she threw me my jacket.

"He was going to shoot me maura, I didn't have a choice."I Stood there lost, how could she react this way. She know I wouldn't do anything to hurt her, I didn't want to die

"What the hell rizzoli, paddy wouldn't have shot you, he knows how important you are to maura" korsak said,

"Yes he was, korsak" what the fuck is going on

"Rizzoli come on that's her father" frost my partner, was sticking up for that low life instead of his partner.

"I hate you jane, do hear me I hate your guts. You said he was going to shoot you? I wish he would have. As a matter of fact I wish hoyt would have killed you the first time. Here take your cheap ass ring back" she threw it at me and it hit the grown " We're done" and she walked away. Damn that hurts, korsak and frost shook there heads at me and ran after maura. Every fucking cop is giving me a dirty look. I didn't do shit wrong.

Flashback

Maura came face to face with the person who has been trying to kill her. I run in after he raised his gun at her, I didn't wait for back up. I get in there and tell him it's over and I look and I see agent dean. I can't believe he's crooked. Out of nowhere a bullet went through his skull. I look up and I see paddy and he points his gun to me. I turn my gun in his direction I shook my head no and he smirked. He was about to pull the trigger but I was faster.

End flashback

I give my statement to a rude ass officer and I drove back to BPD. I walk in and I swear everyone is giving me dirty looks. I walked past the café and I see Ma, korsak, frost, frankie, and Cavanaugh standing around maura comforting her. Ma notice me though

"Jane Clementine rizzoli!" She came over and slapped me dead in my face hard. "What is wrong with you, I can't believe you would shoot her father, you are no child of mine, because I would never give birth to a killer like you, your a monster for what you did,your no better then hoyt" I just stare at her, then Cavanaugh come over

"Give me your gun and badge rizzoli" I look at him confused as ever, his voice was so harsh and it had so much bite to it, but I'm to emotionally drained for this bullshit. I gave him what he asked for

"You're being investigated because of the shooting, and I been order to have you transfer to evidence lock up in the basement. As for now you are no longer a detective" I'm no longer a what! Is this shit real. A fucking mob boss is worth all this.

"O-okay, um how long is the investigation going to last"

"I don't know rizzoli just get the hell out of here, unfortunately you can come back tomorrow. You will get your things from your desk and go to evidence lock up." I can't believe this is happening, I want to break down and cry, but i refuse to let them see me cry. I just look at him and everyone around me and I walked out. I drove home feeling so numb and hurt and broken all in one. I get out my car and I walk toward the steps, before I could start climbing I feel someone grabbing my hair and covering my mouth so I can't scream. This person pulled me an ally and slammed me up against the wall. And I see two men, the one that was dragging me uncovered my mouth and punched my in the stomach. I clinched my stomach and I double over in pain. He stands me up and punched me in the face, he repeatedly punch me. I sink to the ground. My right eye is swollen shut and I can feel the other one starting to bruise my mouth is full of blood. The other one push me back so I was laying flat on my back.

"Damn detective rizzoli my friend over here fucked you up pretty back" they chuckled "your face maybe fucked up but your body aint."

"Yo man stick to the plan"

"Shut up im workin ova here, anyway, this ass beatin you just got was from paddy, he said your lucky he didn't die or you would be swimming with the fishes, oh and this" he said before kicking me in my side twice"is for paddy because he had to sneak out the hospital, so he wouldn't go to prison. And this" he kicked me five times"is just because im an asshole," they laughed "alright rizzoli, this will teach dont fuck with paddy doyle" they left and I laid there for a moment. Fuck this shit hurt. I slowly get up and as soon as I do I feel dizzy. I wait a minute and then I slowly walked up to my apartment and I went in the bathroom to clean my self up. I look in the mirror and I grasp. My face is swollen. My lip is split and I a gash on the inside of my lip. I pull up my shirt and a bruise is starting to form on my side. I cleaned my self up and walked to my room. I changed into boxer and a black tank top ignoring the pain. I walk in the living and I sit down and I call my pop in Florida. I haven't heard from him in a while and I really need to get away from Boston

"Hello"

"Pop" my voice cracked, and tears rolled down my face.

"Janie what's wrong, why does it sound like your crying"

"I... uh... I need to get out of Boston for a while, things are bad here daddy. I shot mauras father in self-defense and people around here don't agree with me and I feel so alone pop. I know i sound like a little kid right now but everyone hates me and maura, she uh dumped me.. its just-" I was cut off

"What do you mean dumped you" fuck I forgot he doesn't know

"Me and maura was dating, engaged actually"

"What? Janie thats sick. Not only is that sick but its a sin, You know what you're getting everything you deserve" with that he hung up. Now im completely alone. My own family turned their backs on me when I need them the most. Well I haven't heard from Tommy, who am I kidding he's definitely going to side with maura. I go to my kitchen and grabbed the bottle of tequila and I sit on my floor drinking it. Ignoring the pain I feel from the cuts, the burn in my throat and the pain on my side.

Maybe the world would be better if I wasn't here. Maybe maura was right, Hoyt should have killed me.

How could she say that to me, how could ma said that to me. My own family. Family means nothing to me anymore. I have always had their backs when they needed me now I don't have anyone.

I throw the bottle of tequila at a wall still ignoring the pain. How could my partners turn their backs on me. I trusted them with my life. I trusted my family with my life. With everything that's happening now it makes me wonder, if I can't trust my family and partners then who can I trust...


	2. Chapter 2

**thanks you for all the positive feed back I appreciate it :) enjoy the story ?**

I wake up feeling numb I can't even feel the pain from the beating. I walk on autopilot to my closest and grabbed my work clothes. I took a shower and got dressed I walked over to the mirror and I look in the mirror, I took meds for the swelling last night so it's mostly gone, my right eye opened up but both eyes are bruised badly. My lip is fucked up, but I don't care. I brushed my teeth it stings a little but who cares. I pulled my hair in a ponytail and I throw on my over sized red Sox hoodie and I put on my sunglasses and I go to work.

I walked in the bull pen and it's

silent, all eyes are on me. I ignore it and walk to my desk. Shit I forgot to get a box, fuck it. I grab a trash can and I take all the pictures that's on my desk and throw everything in the trash. I empty out my desk and put the trash can back. As soon as I was done maura came in the bull pen. We stared at each other for what seemed like hours. When she looked at me all I could see is angier and disgus.

How could I have been so stupid, I trusted her I let my walls down for her, and she chose her sperm donor over me.

I stood up, shaking my head at all this shit. I pushed my chair in and I walked out and took the stairs down to evidence lock up. I unlocked the door and turn on the light, This shit is creepy as hell, and dusty. I walk over to the small dirty ass desk and sit down. I take off my glasses,and put them on the desk, I winced a little when I hit a tender spot. The pain in my side is gone thank god, but my face hurts like a mother.

I notice another desk on the other side of the room. It was clean, it had pictures on it, and a computer. Great just my fucking luck I have to be stuck here with someone. I take of my hoodie and sighed. I never been down here, I always sent someone down here for me, this shit is really creepy. Behind the two desk is a chain link fence that's locked with all of the evidence from the crime scenes.

This is bullshit, I can't believe I'm not a detective anymore. All my hard work down the drain. Over a mob boss, correction over this biggest mobster in boston. This is so fucked up.

Just then someone opened the door. And in came a beautiful mocha color, slim but curvy, long hair women. And when she notice me she smiled and walked over to my desk.

"Hello, I'm Riley cooper, and you are" she smiled. Damn she's gorgeous, focus rizzoli

"Det- Um jane rizzoli" It's going to be so weird not say detective. I stuck my hand out and she shook it.

"Nice to meet you jane" she walked over to her desk and sat down

"Nice to meet you too, um so what do we do down here." I asked

"Well, we wait until a detective or an officer has evidence to bring to us. We log it in the computer and we file it. And If they want to check something out they sign it out in the log book. So since you're here, you will be in charge of the log book " she got the book and put it on my desk and went back to hers

"Okay, thanks for explaining it"

"No, problem. So Jane I hope you don't mind me asking this, but Uh what happened to your face." Oh shit

"Um I broke up a fight in a bar and things got out of hand" really rizzoli a fucking bar fight.

"Mhmm, you know I'm not buying that" she said with a soft smile

"Yeah I know " I sighed "Well I had a run in with a mob boss and I got on his bad side " her eyes went wide so I quickly said "I'm not dirty or anything I just shot one in the arm. Now my life is fucked up and now I'm here, it's complicated" she relaxed a little bit."so what are you doing here" I asked trying to change the subject.

"I was a detective and I didn't want a partner and I kept taking unnecessary risk so my lieutenant sent me to the basement"

" I'm sorry to hear that"

"It's fine, I get paid the same as a detective so it doesn't matter. Oh shit you're that Jane rizzoli, you shot Dr Isles father oh shit" she said. Here we go again

"I shot him in self-defense damnit!" I yelled, I'm so over this bullshit

"Hey, no I wasn't there, so it's not my business"

"Sorry"

"It's fine" she smiled

By the time lunch came around I was so annoyed. Everyone that came down was so rude to me and saying nasty comments. And I went off on one of them and he said

"What? Are you going to shoot my father too, or will you shoot my mother. No I got it you'll kill my family." I just called him an asshole and Riley kicked him out, I put on my hoodie and sunglasses and didn't say anything else to anyone.

"Hey rizzoli I'm going to get something to eat, do you want to come with me? My treat, I know this fantastic burger place we can go to" she said with a smile

"No thanks, maybe some other time" I said sounding defeated. Her smile faded

"Well I can bring you something back" she said sounding hopeful

"No thanks, I'm not hungry" I tried my best to smile but I couldn't so I gave up.

"Hey jane, don't let them idiots get you down, you know what happened and that's all that matters. Don't let them break you, because I don't even know you but something tells me that you are so much stronger then this. Just keep that in mind" she sighed and turned around and walked out.

I sighed, this can not be happening to me. I'm just so hurt and lost. I just want to die, there's nothing here for me. I have nothing to live for. I don't want to be here anymore I don't want to feel this pain anymore. I don't have anyone, I don't trust anyone so why should I stay here? I look down at my hands, they hurt really bad. If I was dead then I wouldn't have to deal with that either. There is no pros to me staying here, I just need to die. My thoughts was interrupted by Cavanaugh's voice

"Rizzoli!" I jumped at the sound of his voice. I was so deep in thought I didn't even hear him open the door. "get in the conference room now, IAB Is here and they want to talk you"

"Why,"

"How in the hell am I supposed to know? Just hurry up and get in there" with that he left. Oh great what now. Ugh, I leave a note for Riley and I lock everything up and I make my way to the conference room.

I hope you guys liked it and if you didn't that's fine too ?

PS:Sorry for the mistakes


	3. Chapter 3

I walked in the conference room and I see, maura, korsak,frost and Cavanaugh sitting on one side of the table. An older lady who looks to be in her mid 50s sitting at the head of the table.

"Good afternoon detective, please have a seat" I quietly sit on the other side of the table without making eye contact."Will you please remove the sunglasses and take down the hood please " oh shit, oh shit. I don't have time for 21 questions.

"I um okay " I tired to lie but I gave up, I took my hood off and took of my glasses and I heard a gasp, I don't know who it was from and I don't care either, I just want to get out of here "Uh what's this about ms-"

"Carey just carey, I am here because I've been investigating your case. I have to say Jane you are very lucky because cases like this can go on for a very long time, I have proof of what happened in that warehouse" she said with a smile

"What kind of proof" I asked

"The warehouse that you guys was in was actually about to be turned into a store and so the owner of it was very paranoid so he installed a camera and detective rizzoli we saw the whole thing" she smiled at me.

"That's great we'll finally have proof that Jane didn't have any reason to shoot my father. And hopefully you'll be able to throw her in jail. A dirty cop shouldn't be allowed to get away with shooting an innocent person" Maura said

"Are you serious right now. Do you.." she took a deep breath, and cleared her throat " I'm going to stay professional. With the help of detective frost I was able to show it on the big screen behind me, there's no sound but the picture is pretty damn good so take a look" she pressed play

"Now this is where Dr Isles was face to face with what looks like agent dean and he has a gun pointing to her head. Then incomes detective rizzoli with her gun out, she's trying to talk to him but he's not listening. He's becoming angry, but before detective could react a bullet went through his skull. And both detective rizzoli and Dr Isles look to see paddy Doyle. Detective rizzoli put her gun down, Dr Isles turned to look at agent dean, Doyle and detective rizzoli made eye contact Doyle begins to raise his gun and detective rizzoli shakes her head but he wouldn't listen. Just as she was raising her gun at him Dr Isles looked at detective rizzoli and screams something and just when she fired at Doyle detectives frost and korsak ran In" She stopped the video.

"I told you guys he was going to fucking shoot me" I hissed at them. I looked over to maura, she had tears in her eyes and korsak and frost had guilt and regret in their eyes. Cavanaugh shook his head and put his head down.

"lieutenant Cavanaugh the badge please" Carey said, Cavanaugh hands her my badge and she looks at me and said

"Detective rizzoli, you are an amazing detective and it sickened me to have to investigate you for shooting a mob boss who has killed hundreds of people. You shot him in self-defense you did nothing wrong. So"she stood up and walked over to me and put the badge in my hand"Detective rizzoli you earned this badge and you deserve it" she smiled at me and went back to her seat "if you want it of course"

I looked at my badge and I start to tear up. I can't believe I'm about to say this but I don't want it anymore.

"Being a homicide detective has always been a dream of mine. And when I finally made it I was so proud of myself because I would be able to give families closures that they needed and justice the victims deserve. But I can't do that if I don't trust my so called partners and my so called team" I look up and the tears start to flow from my eyes "I think this is it for me, I had a good run. I don't want it anymore Its not worth it. So you keep it" my voice cracked and I slid the badge to Cavanaugh " I would rather stay in evidence lockup. My whole team turned their backs on me, they stood up for a mob boss! Why would I want to be around that?" I put my head down and started sobbing. I don't want anything to do with these people.

"Jane you have worked very hard to become what you are today. You have accomplished so much. You're the youngest female to make detective, you're the only female to ever make homicide. You stopped a dirty cop by risking your life . You not only survived one run in with a psycho serial killer, you survived three. That alone tells me that you are a very strong person. Don't let the ignorance of other people stop you form being the best you can be. Don't give up please jane dont give up" I just don't want to get hurt again man fuck. She right though, I've worked my ass off to get where I am today. And it'll be a cold day in hell before I give it all up.

"Fine give me the badge" I whispered as I calmed myself down, he gave me the badge

"You made a good choice jane, a very good choice"she said with a smile

"Can I go now please? I'll start tomorrow " I had to get out of there, because I can't deal with maura balling her eyes out and the look on the guys faces and my own emotions. I just needed to leave, it was just to much.

"Of course detective rizzoli" I put on my sunglasses and hoodie and I left. I walked back down to basement and walked to my desk

"So what happened"Riley said, she obviously saw the note

"Well I got my badge back"

"Congratulations jane!"she said with a smile. She got up a gave me a huge. I like Riley, she's really is a nice person but don't get me confused I don't trust her, im not letting my walls come down for anyone."aww that means im not going to see you, and I was just starting to like you" she said as she pulled back and winked at me. For the first time since all this shit went down I laughed

"Well thank you and I was starting to kind of actually like you to Cooper, but don't think you're getting rid of me just yet, how about we go to lunch tomorrow, my treat"

"No, my treat"

"You got it Cooper" I winked.

No rizzoli , not again, stop it. You can't trust anyone.

()()()()()()()()()()()

(Sorry for the mistakes)


	4. Chapter 4

I've been back at work for two weeks now. Things are still rough. The officers and detective that didn't see the video still treat me like shit. I don't trust korsak or frost so I don't really talk to them. I haven't haven't spoken to ma or frankie which is fine by me. when Tommy finally came back from vacation with Lydia he said he had my back always, that shocked me a little. And the only time I talk to maura was for work, I can tell she wants to say more to me but stops herself. She look like she was losing weight and she look pale. I have to talk to her soon, today, maybe.

Cooper and I have lunch everyday and as much as I hate it, I'm starting to open up a little bit. My fucking eyes are still fucked up. It doesn't hurt anymore but it's black and blue, it looks really bad. oh and my lip is healed thank god. The bruise on my side and stomach healed, the only thing giving me trouble is my fucking eyes.

I text riley and told her I can't have lunch today and I head down to maura's office. I knock on the door and I walked in. She looked surprised to see me.

"Detective rizzoli, what can I help you with" she said with a fake smile, I sighed and sat down in a chair in front of her desk

"How have you been maura"

"Um fine " she cleared her throat "I'm doing good, Det - jane"

"No you're not, you look like your losing weight and you look pale. So you want to tell me what's wrong?" she's deep in thought and I can tell she's thinking about not telling me what's wrong. So I decided to help her out a bit

"You and I both know im not leaving until you tell me what's wrong, so you might as well tell me." I said and she sighed

"I'm so sorry, jane. I know it's not enough and I know what I said was horrible what I did was horrible."her voice cracked "I said some pretty awful things to you, and I'm sorry, I hope you can forgive me. I miss you, and I love you, I love you with all my heart and I'm just really sorry" she finally released the tears she was so desperately trying to hold back.

I'm so torn I want to be a bitch to her and tell her to fuck off. I want to give her the same treatment she gave me. But at the same time I just want to run over there and hold her. She just look so miserable, I hate seeing her like this.

"You know maura I really just want to say fuck it and you and walk away and don't look back. I want you to hurt as much as I hurt. I want to not even care about you or how you feel. I want to ignore what my heart is telling me. I just want you to... fuck I don't even know. But then again I still love you and for the life of me I don't get why I can't turn that shit off. What I don't get is why I can't just walk away from you. I don't understand why I can't hate you. I don't understand why I can't hurt you. And you know what ,I won't even be selfish I just want you to feel just a fraction of what I felt. But I can't do it, nun of it. And it makes me so mad. I love you maura, but I don't want to, I want to hate you. But I can't, so now what"

"I'll wait for you jane, until you're ready to forgive me. I know you're angry, and I know I hurt you. I know it's going to take a lot to trust me again. I'll wait until you're ready no matter how long it takes. We can start all the way over. Start as friends and see where it takes us. Whatever you want. Jane I'll wait."

"You're willing to wait what if it takes a year"

"Jane I don't care if it takes ten, I just want you"

Fuck! Why can't I just walk away. Who the fuck am I kidding I'll never be able to walk away from maura fucking isles. I sighed and stood up, maura took it has a bad thing she turned her head and and sobbed. I walk over to her and pulled her up. She refused to look at me. So I wraped my arms her waist and whispered in her ear

"look at me maur,please" I kissed her ear, and then her neck. She shook her head but she wraped her arms around my neck and buried her head in my neck and sobbed some more "stop crying, it's okay we'll work on it, I love you"

"I love you too, I'm so so sorry "came a muffled response from maura "I'm so so so sorry jane"

"Stop crying"

"I don't want to lose you, I have had nightmares every night since it happen, and I called out to you but you wasn't there and it was all my fault"

she's hysterically crying now, I have to calm her down before she pass out.

"Please calm down for me, I'm right here I'm not going anywhere okay calm down" she take a couple a deep breaths and finally she calms her self down and she pulled back and looked at me and her eyes are red and puffy she sniffles a little and says

"I'm sorry about your shirt"

"Don't worry about it, enough with the I'm sorrys' okay"

"Okay, I love you janie"

"I love you too m we will be okay"

"Maybe we could go to counseling, I know you're going to need help with trusting me again "

"I'm okay with that. What ever it takes maura, whatever it takes" I just hope I'm making the right decision

(Sorry for the mistakes)


	5. Chapter 5

Jane and I have been going to counseling for about two months and our relationship is finally getting back on track. We're still taking things slow. But I'm worried about her because the only person she made amends with is me. She hasn't contacted her mother, her brother frankie, and she only talks to Vince and Barry about work, she's very professional with them. I just want everything to be back how it was.

Right now we're sitting in Dr carter's office on her couch for one of our sessions. I feel ready to bring up the whole making up with everyone thing.

"So is there anything we want to go over today anything on your mind"dr cater said

"I do, um jane I love how we're getting our relationship back on track. But I don't like that I'm the only one. You're family miss you jane and your partners miss you. I think its time for you to make amends with them " I said kind of nervous because I don't know how she's going to react to it

"Jane what do you think about what maura said" Dr carter said writing down notes

"I think I would rather not talk about this" jane said, I sighed I was afraid of this

"Why not, remember what I told you jane? when you come in here everything you're to afraid to say or anything you want to say you are free to say it here. There's no where to hide so let's talk about it." Dr carter said firmly. Jane stayed silent for a moment then rolled her eyes and ran her fingers through her hair and said

"When I was growing up we didn't have much and we really didn't care because we had love. One day me and frankie got into this huge argument it was really bad. I told him that he was no brother of mine and I hated him. My father and mother had enough of it because I let frankie get into a fight and I didn't help him. He sat us down and said, no matter what life throws at you, no matter what life takes from you, family sticks together. And I believe that saying, I lived my life by that saying. And from that day forward I made a promise to my family that I would always have their backs. I kept that promise and everytime life threw something at my family and every time it took something away I was there. I just thought that they would always be there for me." Jane said

"So you feel like you're family didn't have you're back when you needed them the most" Dr carter said

"Hell yeah I feel like that" jane said and folded her arms aross her chest. She's going into defense mode" This is so pointless. What does that have to do with me and Maura and our relationship?" jane said

"Well let me ask you this, how can you be part of a whole when one half is broken? Correct me if I'm wrong detective but you can't, it's not going to work. The whole thing is going to crumble right? " Dr carter raised an eyebrow, wow she's good. It got my detective to shut up "I think that just answered your question detective" she smirked

"Yeah whatever" she mumbled

"Okay so what about your partners, why haven't you tried to fix that relationship" I asked

"Because I just want to keep the relationship we have now. You know professional, no friendship just business that way no one gets hurt" jane said

"But jane people are hurt, your hurting, you miss them just as much as they miss you. Baby you need to fix this, I know we all broke your trust okay and I know you're hurting but it will do you some good to at least talk to them. I'll be by your side if you want me to" I said to her, then I kissed her

"That's a wonderful idea maura. Jane your homework assignment is to talk to all the people who betrayed you two months ago. I want you to talk to them and let go of some of that angier you have towards them. And learn how to forgive. Just like you did with maura you can do with them." Dr Carter said

"But maura's different " jane wined

"How so " Dr carter said

"Because she's maura my maura and I don't know she's just is okay" jane huffed

"Seriously jane do the homework" Dr carter said

"Fine Dr carter I will do the homework" Jane said rolling her eyes

"And maura will be there with you?"

"Yes I will" I said with a smile

"Okay well, I will now move on. How's your sex life "

jane blushed, and I try so hard not to laugh, she really hates talking about sex.

"Well we agreed to take things slow so no sex" I said kind of sad, I miss being intimate with my detective.

"You don't sound to happy about that" Dr carter said

" Well I miss being intimate with her but I don't want to rush her, I told her I would wait as long as she wants and I mean it" I said firmly

"Well jane you guys have been coming to counseling for two months and you seem to be on the right track. What's going on, what's stopping you from engaging in sex" Dr carter said

"We don't spend the night with each other, so why would we have sex" jane said. Which is her fault because I asked her more then once to stay at my house but she said no. Then I asked if I could stay at her house she said no. So I gave up on asking

"Why is that" Dr carter asked

"Because I don't want to go to her house" jane said

"Why" Dr carter asked

"Because of my mother. I don't really want to see her, I don't want to run into my brother I just don't want to talk to them," jane said

"Why can't she spend the night with you" Dr carter said

"Why are you asking me all the questions doc, ask her " she said pointing to me

"Because I asked last movie night, and you said no jane" I said to her

"I said no?" She asked looking all innocent

"Yeah, you say no everytime I offer " I said

"Oh" Jane shrugged

"Yeah oh" I rolled my eyes

"I guess I say no because I'm scared" jane said "I'm trying really hard to trust her when she say that she won't hurt me again, it just I still doubt it a little. But I want to move on and everything be all good again, but it's hard for me to let it all go" her voice broke "my god why am I getting so emotional,"

"It's okay to get emotional jane that's what you're here for" dr carter said passing us the tissue box

"Well its hard for me to let it go. I want to believe her, I love her with all my heart, but it's the doubt that's in the back of my mind that's hindering me from taking the next step." Jane said grabbing some tissue and wiping her face. Then I grabbed some and wiped my face as well

"What are you doubting" I asked her wiping my eyes

"I don't want to hurt your feelings" she said to me

"It's called communication jane tell her" Dr carter said, jane let out a a shaky breath, and I moved closer to her and took her hand and laced my fingers through hers

"Just tell me honey" I wispered and squeezed her hand lightly

"I'm afraid that I will be standing on my own when or if shit hits the fan again. I have doubt that you will be by my side. Did you know I was going to commit suicide? Like it got that bad, people at BPD who didn't see that video still treated me like crap, and I couldn't take it. I tried to hang my self, I was gonna eat my gun. I had to deal with that by myself, I wanted you and my partners and my family but I couldn't trust yall and I just wanted to get out, I didn't want to deal with it. " both jane and I had tears streaming down our face.

I had no idea she tried to commit suicide. And I bet what I said had a big role in her wanting to commitcommit commit suicide

"What's going on maura why are you crying " Dr carter asked me

"I hate that I cause that doubt. I hate that I'm the cause of this pain she has. We were happy and I messed it up. I mean yes we had arguments but we were happy. And I can only blame myself. And I just don't know what to do to take the doubt away" I chocked out

"You have to trust her jane. I know it's hard and I know you don't want to because you're scared and you're doubting maura, but you have to trust her. Without trust your relationship is going to fail. I know you don't want that, maura doesn't want that, he'll I don't want that. You have to trust her" Dr carter said it made me cry more

"But how " she wispered

"Forgiveness and letting things go is the key. You just let it go, you walk out of this office today and you just trust her. You let it all go, the hurt,the pain,the doubt, just leave it here and you walk out of this room ready to finally move on. Its going to be hard, trust me I know. Let me tell you when my husband cheated on me and had a baby I had to do the same thing. It's so hard but in the end you have to forgive her, not just her everyone that did you wrong. Its not for them, it's for you. Forgive them for yourself. You're not hurting them by not forgiving them, your hurting yourself. Its not good to walk around with a all of that angier." Dr carter said.

"You're right doc." Then she turned to me and looks me in the eye and smiles. She kissed me and then said "I forgive you maura, and I'm going to trust you, I love you so much, and I don't want to be mad anymore. I just want to move on from this. When we walk out that door we walk out with a clean slate, deal"

"Deal" I wispered and kissed her. And things got a little to heated. When we heard Dr carter clear her throat we pulled back blushing "sorry Dr carter, we got a little carried away" I said

"It's alright, our time is up jane remember what I said okay and don't forget the homework" Dr carter said

"I won't" Jane said with a smile

We walk out to the car and I finally feel free like a big weight has been lifted. Me and Jane Will be okay, I can feel it!

(Sorry for the mistakes. )


	6. Chapter 6

"Oh fuck jane! yes baby"

After jane and I left Dr carter's office we went to work. After work jane took me on a date. We had a fabulous time. I wanted to To go home and changed but jane love what I was wearing so I of course didn't change. We went dancing after dinner and I loved it. Jane stopped by her house and she grabbed some clothes. We get to my house and we go up stairs to put her clothes away. As soon as we put her clothes away she all but throws me on the bed and started ripping my clothes off. Its been so so long since we had sex and we really missed each other so neither of us wanted to make slow sweet passionate love. We wanted to fuck, and that's what we did, for several hours. Seven orgasms collectively, and we're working on number eight with me. Jane is pounding her fingers in me, and it feels really good.

"Does it feels good baby, come on talk to me," jane said as she curls her three fingers and drags them across my sweet spot, I cried out in Pure pleasure before I shot up and proped up on my elbows and opened my legs wider "or do you want me to stop" she kissed my clit and my hips buckled forward "I'll stop if you want to baby, do you want me to stop, huh do you want me to stop " she wispered before taking my clit into her mouth and sucking it, hard"

"Fuuuck jane! It feels so good baby! Oh I'm going to cum, sso hard. KKeep fucking me just like that, please don't sstop" I know she loves it when I talk to her, she loves it even more when I swear. She starts going faster and pulls away just to say

"Hold it for me baby" she demands and she goes back to my clit. Have she lost her mind I can't hold it, I feel like I'm about to pass out

"Baby" I whimpered "please I have to cum, I'm so close baby" I hold on to my sheets for dear life "Fuck jane, please let me cum"

"Just a little while longer for me" she mumbles against my clit

"Fuck, baby, I'm gonna pass out. Please I need to cum! Jane let me cum!" I don't even mind that I'm begging I just really need to cum

"Let go maur"she said before biting my clit.

"JANNNE "I came soaring over the edge. The orgasm ripped through my body and it felt so wonderful, I was on cloud nine and I never wanted to come down. Jane rode me threw my orgasm and pulled out of me. She crawled a little and lowered her self on top of me and laid her head on my chest. I pulled the covers on top of us and laid down and we just listen to each other trying to calm our breathing down. "I love you" I wispered as I played with her unruly dark locks

"I love you too, so much " she kissed my chest. We sit in silence then I asked

"Are you going to talk to your mother tomorrow, you know your going to see her tomorrow at breakfast" jane groans" I know you don't want to but it's your homework from Dr carter "

"Fine, I'll talk to her okay, I promise "jane said

"Tomorrow, at breakfast?" I asked

"Yes babe, you'll be there right?" She asked

"Of course"I kissed her head and I closed my eyes for a few seconds then said" we should get some sleep, yeah?" I didn't get a response "babe" I looked down and I see my detective fast a sleep. I closed my eyes and fell asleep

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ..

I was the first one to wake up at 7 o'clock. I got up and took a shower and did my morning routine. I put on a pair of Jane's running shorts and a tank top and put my hair in a messy bun. I decided not to put on and make up because jane loves the natural look. Jane is still asleep I decided to let her sleep and fix her some Breakfast I go down stairs and take out the ingredients for breakfast and Angela walks in the door.

"Hi maura, I was just about to come cook breakfast for you" she said as she washed her hands

" Well I want to help you"

We finished breakfast and I sat down three plates on the island filled it with food and Angela got the orange juice and I got the glasses

"Sweetie why did you fix three plates, who's joining us" before I could answer I hear jane say

"Babe I forgot my shampoo so I used-" jane stopped when she came in the kitchen. Angela don't know what to do this is the first time they have seen each other since everything happened.

"Hello jane" angela said with a pinch of worry in her voice

"Angela" jane said with a nod. I signed this is going to be a long conversation

We're all sitting at the island eating breakfast . I'm in the middle and it feels very awkward. Thankfully Angela decided to break the silence

"how have you been Jane" angela asked with a warm smile

"Just peachy angela" jane said sarcastically

"Why do you keep calling me Angela" Angela asked sadness and hurt running across her face.

"Well Angela I'm not your child remember? You would never give birth to a monster like me, maura I don't want to do this" jane said

"Baby I know you don't want to but you have to at least have a conversation with her, please for me" I said

"Alright fine, what do you have to say Angela" jane said looking her in the eyes

"I, I um can we talk in private" angela said.

"Fuck no, what ever you have to say you can say it in front of maura" jane said and I can tell she's getting annoyed. I grabbed her hand and I put my other hand on her arm and I dragged my nails up and down lightly. I see her relax a little

"Well jane I want to apologize for what I said and did " angela said

"Yeah, okay. We talked you apologize we're done with this conversation" jane said

"But it wouldn't have happened if you wasn't involved in an ungodly relationship" wait what

"Excuse me" jane said getting upset.

What is she doing, why is she saying this she was so thrilled with the idea of us being together and now she has a problem with our relationship?

"God is punishing you just like he punished you when you was with emily" angela said , I am so shocked, why angela is saying this? and who the hell is emily

"You knew about me and emily" jane wispered

"Of course I did, and you're lucky frank didn't find out. I should have known that wouldn't be the last" Angela said shaking her head

"Maura I am going to leave and I will call you later and um yeah, okay I uh love you and uh yeah" she kissed me, got up and put her plate in the sink. I got up and walked with her to the room.

"Baby, stop and talk to me" I stopped her from packing her clothes by taking her hand and pulling her to the bed. She sat down on the edge, I stood between her legs and I pulled her to my chest. She wraped her arms around my waste "I'm so sorry baby. She told me she wanted to apologize I had no idea she was going to say that" I kissed her head

"It's not your fault babe" she sounds so sad

"You stay here my love and I'll go deal with your mother okay and I'll be back so we can talk about it okay"

"Okay I love you"

"And I love you too, lay down baby" she got under the covers and laid down. I kissed her head and walked out the door closing it behind me. I walked down the stairs and I see angela drinking her coffee like nothing happened. I grabbed her cup and poured it in the sink and turned around

"Hey! I was drinking that" angela said standing up and putting her hands on her hips.

"Have you lost your mind. You begged me to talk to jane for you and you do this. What the fuck is wrong with you. You know what don't answer that" I said angrily

"You don't tell me how to talk to my child. I'm her mother I can say what I want! Jane needs a man someone who can take care of her and you are keeping that from her. I love you like a daughter maura but I will not let you stand in the way of her happiness "

"I take care of her! And I love her more then life it self! And I make her happy Angela! She doesn't need a man, she has me! I hold her when she's needs it. I love her and she loves me. The only one standing in the way of her happiness is you! Angela you need to get your fucking head out of your ass and grow up. You are a selfish bitch and I want you out of my house now. I can't kick you out of the guest house because I will feel very bad, but I don't want you in my main house. Oh and before I forget I want $130 a month. Now get out" I said and pointing to the door

"Okay, listen maybe I shouldn't have said what I said but that's my daughter. I'll just go up and explain " she said while walking up towards my room. I ran to block her path

"You're not going anywhere near my girlfriend. I'll take care of her,she will be fine. To many people have been hurting her way to much, myself included, I will not allow you to hurt her anymore. You may leave now and your rent is due at the beginning of the month" I said sternly, regret and hurt washed over her face as she walked away but I didn't give a damn. I went in the room and laid down with my detective and cuddle up to her back "she's gone, are you ready to talk now" I wispered "who's emily baby"

"Emily was my bestfriend, my uh first love, my first you know and my first heartbreak."

"What happened"

"Well she Called me over one day because she had just broken up with her boyfriend, and I of course jumped in my jeep and drove over her house. She was crying really hard and I did my best to comfort and telling her it's gonna be okay. I uh did my best to stop her from crying. When she finally stop crying she kissed me and I kissed back because I was in love with her for a long time. One thing lead to another and we had sex and it was great. We dates for a week and then I found her kissing Steven Anderson broke me in half. We mad eye contact but she didn't stop kissing him. I went up to her after school and she said there was nothing between us and she could never love me and be with me and all this other bullshit. She went around telling people I was gay and everything and the whole school bullied the shit out of me. All my team mates bullied me, they didn't want me to be in the locker room, it's was crazy. I didn't think anyone knew about that so I was surprised angela knew." Jane sighed

"I will never hurt you like that baby, ever" I wispered

"I know and I will never hurt you" she turned around and kissed me. We cuddle and I was almost asleep until I heard jane phone ring. I wasn't on call today I knew my phone wasn't gonna ring. I reached over Jane to grabbed her phone and I answered it.

"This is jane Rizzoli's phone" I said with a smile then my smile faded a little when the woman's voice on the other end

"Jane?" She questioned

"Uh who is this" I asked

"Um riley cooper" who the hell is that?

"Right hold on, let me get her" I put the the phone on speaker and mouth talk to jane.

"Hello" jane said

"Oh my god jane, where have you been. I haven't seen you that much in two months what's up with that" riley said kind of annoyed. Okay what's going on between these two.

"Oh shit coop, I'm sorry " coop? Oh hell no

"It's cool so let do something today" she said kind of hopeful

"Oh I can't I'm hanging with my girlfriend this weekend"

"Girlfriend? Who" she said sounding defeated,

"Dr isles, maura. That's right you haven't met her yet. Well you can meet her at work Monday."

"Oh yeah, uh I have to go but I'll see you Monday okay bye" she hung up.

"So who's riley" I asked sitting up and Jane did the same

"I met her while down in evidence lock up, she's cool" jane said

"So your just friends with her nothing more nothing less, you don't find her atractive at all."

"Yes she's a friend nothing more and nothing less, and no I don't find her atractive, I find you atractive" she kissed me "only you" she kissed me "I only want you" she kissed me

"So you never did anything with her because I don't think she was to happy when you said girlfriend" I said. Okay so let's face it just like jane doesn't like when anyone hits on me or something I don't like it when someone hits on her. I'm very jealous, very. And so is jane that's why we're perfect for each other.

"Babe, stop, we're just friends Nothing happened and nothing will ever happen. I promise." She kissed me "I love you"

"I love you too" she kissed me and I signed. Don't get me wrong I trust Jane I really do. I trust her more then anything. I know she will never hurt me. I don't trust other women.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

(I hoped you liked it, I couldn't just let it be a happy family moment between angela and jane. I had to have a little drama lol. Next chapter she will finish her homework assignment and the meet and great between riley and maura, what do you think will happen?

Oh and I'm just going to focus on the relationship between jane and maura and the family I'm not going to write about the crime, that's way to much work. I love fed back so don't be shy tell me what you think and yeah okay bye my loves

Ps, sorry for the mistakes)


	7. Chapter 7

Jane and I had a lovely weekend. After the whole angela thing I convinced jane to call her bother and partners to finish the homework assignment Dr carter want jane to do and that went well. We haven't seen or heard anything from angela since that conversation took place,which is a good thing. Jane and I went to the movies, we went for a walk on the beach, we really enjoyed each others company.

Monday rolled around and Jane and I took her car to work. We're meeting up with riley and I'm not looking forward to it one bit.

I don't want to say I don't like her because I don't know her but I can say I don't have a good feeling about her.

Jane and I arrived at BPD and we go to the café. I take a seat while jane grabs us some coffee. When she gets back I kissed her to thank her.

"Babe your going to love riley she's a good person" jane said as she took a sip of her coffee, I highly doubt that, I just smile at her.

"Riley hey" jane said to the woman walking up to the table. Jane got up from the table and gave her a hug.

"Hi, stranger I barely seen you in like two months" she said taking a seat in front of us. Then she looks at me and her smile faded a little and Jane of course didn't notice but I did.

"This is riley, babe and this is my girlfriend maura, riley" jane said with a proud smile and I couldn't help but smile.

"Hi maura it's lovely to meet you" her right eyebrow twitched, she lied

"Same here" I said with I smile, a fake one. I need to get out of here. But not before I make sure riley knows who detective jane rizzoli belongs to." Well as much I would love to stay here and uh chat" I said sarcastically thankfully noone caught on to that "but I have works to do so I'm going to go to my office" I said getting up and walking between Jane's legs and put my arm around her neck, she wrapped her arms around my waist.

"Do you want me to walk you down babe" jane said kind of sad. Awe my baby wanted me to stay. I feel bad now but I don't like Riley so I have to go.

"No, baby you stay here and catch up with riley,I love you" I said before kissing her passionately. I heard her moan slightly when our tongue touched . I deepen the kiss and I guess jane remembered we was at work because she pulled back and I whimpered a little. She pecked my lips one more time and huged me and let go. "I'll see you at lunch?" I questioned when I got my breathing under control. All jane could do is nod. I kissed her one last time and I turned to riley and smiled. She looked annoyed and jealous. I smirked on the inside "Bye riley, see you around" I hope not, I walked off.

Riley pov

That was very cute what maura did. But she doesn't know who I am. I always get what I want. And right now I want jane and I will have her.

"So jane you're back with maura" I asked annoyed

"Yeah, I love her and we're working through it" Jane said with a proud smile

"Well jane I'm kind of bummed out" I said

"Why, is it about me not hanging out with you as much? I'm sorry" jane said

"Well yeah I'm sad about that. I Really thought we had something between us" I said

"We do, we're friends" a confused jane said

"No honey I'm talk about something special" I said running my foot up and down her leg. She jerked away and got up from the table

"Whoa hold up uh nah see I'm in love with um maura and uh we are just friends riley" jane said

"We can be friends but we can also have benefits with our friendship. Nobody has to know jane it will be just between us" I said very sternly

"What, are you suggesting that I cheat on my girlfriend? Have you lost your mind" she said becoming angry

"Everyone does it jane, and like I said it would just be between us. You can keep your little girlfriend and we can have our fun. Everyone's happy, it's a win win situation" I say with a smile

"You know what riley, I think from now on we keep our relationship strictly business, professional nothing more. I can't believe you just said that, I got to go bye cooper" she all but ran out of the café.

So she really loves her. She won't be easy to get but trust me I will get jane and I will love it.

I go down to the basement, but instead of going to my office I pay a visit to Dr maura isles. I knock on her office door.

"Riley what a surprise" Dr isles said, with a fake ass smile, I go over and sit in front of her desk. "What can I do for you"

"Let's cut the shit, I don't like you and you don't like me. I honestly wouldn't have pegged the great Dr Isles to be jealous. Its not very flattering maura honestly, but I would be jealous of me too if I were you. I mean jane practically undresses me with her eyes everytime she see me," gosh I am such a bitch.

She leans back in her chair and looks at me and then she busted out laughing. What the hell is so funny?

"I'm sorry,"she said calming down "I'm not jealous of you, I have nothing to be jealous of. And I'm not worried about you and jane. See I know my girlfriend and she will never cheat on me" I don't like this bitch

"Mhmm you think so? I know she wants me and it's just a matter of time before she's mine. You have a nice day maura" I left her office and went down to my office. I need a plan to get jane alone. I have to think of something. My thoughts was interrupted by someone walking through the door.

"Hey beautiful" gosh this is why I hate men

"Hello, what can I do for you" I said with a fake smile

"Well im officer frankie rizzoli" my eyes went wide, this must be my lucky day "I come down here from time to time and I finally have the courage to ask this. I was just wonder if you would want to come out for drinks with some friends of mine tonight. Uh as my date" Perfect

"You know what frankie, I would love too, why don't you sit down here and let's get to know each other" I said with a bright smile

"Sure I would love too" he smiled

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

(Ps: sorry for the mistakes )


	8. Chapter 8

Frankie and I are waiting for his friends to come to the dirty rober and I really hope it's jane. I have on a tight black dress that shows off my breast and some red fuck me heels. And I really hope all of this is worth it because frankie is super annoying. I'm so fed up with the wanting to become a detective story.

"Hey, here comes my friends" frankie said as jane and maura and another couple walk in. Everyone sat at the round table with frankie and I. let the games begin.

"Okay so riley this is by best friend frost and his girlfriend nina. That's jane my sister and maura her girlfriend. Everyone this is riley my date" frankie said

"Nice to meet you frost and nina" I said with a smile

"You too" frost said

" You as well, and I love your dress " she said,

"Thank you so much. It's so lovely to you again jane and maura" I smirked

"Oh you guys know each other. Oh that's right you worked in evidence lock up with her," frankie said ugh this better work

"Yeah jane and I are besties" I smirked and Jane and maura rolled their eyes. Oh this is going to be fun.

When the waiter brought us our food and drinks Jane asked frankie

"What's up with the suit , your interview with Cavanaugh is not until Thursday" frankie was about to answer but I cut him off

"I told him to wear it. People In suits turn me on. And I think he looks sexy, just like you jane. You look really sexy in your suites" I said and smirked at jane. Frost chocked on his food, and Jane chocked on her water. Nina looked at Maura and Maura looked at me like she wanted to kill me.

"Okay bitch, watch your mouth" Maura said

"What's the matter Maura" I smiled "scared of a little competition, is that it. Oh honey jealously is such an ugly trait to have " I said, she chuckled a little and said

"You have nothing and I mean absolutely nothing for me to be jealous of. Trust me when I say you are not competition. First of all your hair is fake, your tan is fake, your breast are fake, sorry jane for looking but they look ridiculous, every thing about you is fake riley. I'm very sorry to "Pop your bubble" but I'm not jealous. I know who jane loves and I know jane Will never ever cheat on me. Now riley I am not a confrontational person what so ever. But if I ever catch you coming on to my girlfriend again I will personally beat the shit out of you. Don't look at her, don't talk to her, Just act like she doesn't exist. Please don't underestimate me. I'm crazy about my girlfriend and I'm very possessive over her so don't do anything stupid." She said. I look around and I see everyone eyes are wide and their mouth are hung open. I'm not scared of this bitch and my breast looks perfect.

"Please I'm not afraid of you, and I always get what I want maura always" I smirked

"Mhmm okay riley. Baby I'm ready to leave, sorry you guys maybe we can have dinner together another time. You know without a trashy slut" maura said

"What did you just call me " I asked get angry I have had it with this bull shit. I stood up and so did maura.

"I called you a trashy slut. I believe I was speaking clearly. You riley cooper are a trashy slut." And before anyone could say anything I slapped maura hard in her face. She punched me in the nose and that shit hurt. And next thing I know me and her are on the floor fighting.

...

(Don't hate me for this chapter I know It's bad and short but I promise you next chapter will be ten times better I promise and you won't have to wait a long time. )

(Ps, sorry for the mistakes)


	9. Chapter 9

I can't believe that bitch hit me. It all happened so fast. Jane, frost and Frankie pulled us apart, I want some more though.

"YOU STUPID BITCH, DON'T YOU EVER HIT ME. LET ME GO JANE" she didn't listen she kept walking out the door I tried really hard to get out of her arms. I managed to get out of her grip and I ran over to her but all I can reach was her hair. I wraped my hands around her hair and I pulled with all my might. Jane is trying really hard to loosen my grip but I'm not having it. I yank her really hard and I start punching her in the face. "GET UP BITCH, YOU WANT TO HIT ME IN MY FACE, GET UP, FIGHT ME" I screamed as I hit her over and over again in the face.

"GET OFF OF ME YOU CRAZY BITCH" she screams,

"COME ON SIS SHE AINT WORTH IT, LET GO" frankie said, if I wasn't so pissed of I would have smiled he Called me sis. I felt Jane pulling me and I knew I would lose the battle so I hit the bitch one more time and I pulled her hair so hard some of it came with me when jane finally pulled me away.

"I TOLD YOU YOUR SHIT WAS FAKE, HERE YOU GO SLUT" I threw that shit at her. Then I got mad at Jane because she pulled me away from this bitch when she attacked me. I had the right to whoop her ass "LET ME GO JANE, SHE HIT ME, LET ME GO DAMN IT." She takes me out side and walks me to the car. She pushed me up against it.

"Babe calm down okay, I know you're mad, believe me I am to but you need to calm down baby" she tried to kiss me but stopped her with my hand

"Don't kiss me, I'm pissed right now, she hit me in my face jane. And you wouldn't let me finish kicking her ass. She disrespected me all night jane and you didn't say shit. Go get my purse I want to go home. I can't believe I had to fight jane. Do you know how this makes me look?"

"But babe-" I cut her off

"I WANT MY PURSE JANE" just then nina ran over to us

"Here maura" she handed me my purse

"Thanks nina, I'm so sorry about tonight" I feel so ashamed at my behavior. But then again the bitch deserved it

"Don't worry about that. She hit you in the face andshe was being disrespectful all evening. I'm surprised you didn't slap her before all that happened and Jane why would you just sit there and not stand up for maura" nina said having my back

"Because first of all maura had her own and it was sexy as hell seeing her go all badass" I shake my head and smile on the inside "And second the bitch wasn't worth it. She knows she can't have me so she's trying to get a rise out of us. When the fight broke out I had to step in to break it up even though I really wanted to break her face" Jane said

"No not good enough. Maura make her work really hard for your forgiveness" nina said and I laughed

"Really nina who side are you on here" jane asked

"Maura""mine" we say at the same time and we chuckled. Then nina said "Maura you beat her ass so bad it's so funny. But the bitch deserved it. Oh and no charges will be pressed against you and you are free to go home"

"Oh my gosh really? Thanks" I huged her and she hit jane, then ran back inside. I turned to jane and said "take me home detective rizzoli, now" I said.

she walked around to the driver side,unlocked the door,opened it and looked at me

"What" she said

"Your not going to open my door?" I asked

"Are you serious?" she asked and I simply raised my eyebrow. She sighed and walked over to me, opened my door and closed it. She got in the car and drove off.

We ended up going to the hospital. My hand hurt really bad from when I punched the bitch in the face repeatedly. I fractured my hand and had to get it wraped. My manicure is pretty much ruined and I'm pretty mad about that. Now I'm sitting on my bed in my pj's with jane and she is massaging my feet.

"Do I have anything to worry about" I asked jane "do you find her atractive at all"

"Baby I only want you. I'm not sure what I have to do to prove to you that I'm property of maura isles but I really need for you to realized that" jane said. "And no I'm not attracted to her. Where is all this coming from babe. Dr carter said we need to communicate with each other"

"I feel like you're going to get back at me. I feel like you're going to try to hurt me because I hurt you. And every girl I see you look at I like freak out. Even though I didn't cheat I hurt you Bad and I just feel like you want to get me back" I said sadly, I felt tears stream down my face. She reached up and wiped my face

"Don't cry and dont think that. Even if I wanted to hurt you I couldn't, and trust me I did want to but I couldn't do it. I love you way to much to ever hurt you. And no one will ever make me stop loving you and no one will ever come in between us. I love you too much to let that happen. Beyonce can walk in this room and confess her love for me and it wouldn't make me stop loving you. Now come on you know how much I love beyonce" Jane said and I kicked her playfully "No but seriously no one will ever come in between us"

"I love you" I said with a smile and I kissed her. Than she went back to massaging my feet

"I love you too" she smiled

"You know your going with me and your paying for me to get my nails redone" I said with a smirked

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

(Damn who knew maura had it in her lol

I hoped you liked it my loves

Ps sorry for the mistakes )


	10. Chapter 10

So it's been four days since that whole fight between Riley and I. She ended up transferring to another unit thank goodness. Jane and I have been doing really good. We decided that we really didn't need to see dr Carter anymore because our relationship was finally back on track. And I couldn't be happier.

Its friday night and Right now we are at a charity event. I basically had to forse jane into coming. She is wearing a tight black dress with red heels, she straighten her normally untamed curly hair and she even wore make up for me. I'm wearing a red cocktail dress with a pair of Jimmy choo black heels and my hair is in an elegant bun.

"This Champagne is really good, but the food here sucks" jane said to me. We are walking around the room and we settled in a spot in the back."Can we get some food before we go home babe" she asked

"The food here is good jane" I said to her "stop complaining" I rolled my eyes then my eyes went wide I saw my mother walking toward me with my ex. She doesn't know about jane, I haven't spoken with my mother in two years "Baby I'm so sorry. Just know that I love you "I said and before she could say anything my mother approached me.

"Maura dear" she said and kissed both of my cheeks

"Hi mother"

"Look who I ran into, Garrett Fairfield"

"You look beautiful as ever" he took my hand and kissed it

"Thank you, where is my manners. Mother, Garrett this is Jane Rizzoli my um bestfriend. Jane this is my mother Constance isles and an old friend of mine Garrett Fairfield" I looked at Jane, I saw hurt flash across her face but she quickly covered it.

"Oh come on Maura im more than that, I was your fiancee for two years" he smiled, I look at jane and she just looked so broken but she managed to smile and say

"It's nice to meet you"

"You as well dear. Anyway maura you're single correct"I wanted to tell her no I have a wonderful girlfriend standing beside me but that didn't come out.

"Yes mother" I said avoiding jane eyes

"Great, Maura I was wondering if you would like to accompany me on a date, I still love you maura" You don't love me! all you want is a trophy wife. And im in love with Jane Rizzoli! That's what I wanted to say but all that came out was

"Sure Garrett" I said with a fake smile and he pulled me into a hug and he kissed me, I wanted to throw up. I pulled back after a few seconds.

Oh my gosh how could I do this to jane. After I finally got her trust back I mess it up again. Im not ashamed of my girlfriend. I know my mother would humiliate jane if I told her about us. I had to do it, I hope she understands.

"Will tomorrow be okay, how does 8 sounds" Garrett said

"It sounds okay" I said with a forced smile

"This is perfect I'm so happy for you. You too are perfect for each other" my mother said with a smile

"Um Jane, I have a bother. Since you and maura are bestfriends maybe we can double date" Garrett said

"Gee as fun as that sounds" Jane said sarcastically. No one picked up on it, but I did "I'll pass, maybe next time. But I must be going now it was so lovely to meet you two. And garry you and maura really do make a lovely couple. Maura stay here and catch up, I will catch a cab home." Jane said as she walked away

"Its Garrett by the way" he said to jane. I hope I can fixed this.

After the charity event I went home alone. I have been calling Jane's phone non stop ever since I got in the car, but she haven't been answering.

After I completed my nightly routine I crawl into bed and I called her one last time and she finally answered.

"What do you want maura, I really wish you would stop calling my phone" she hissed

"Jane, im sorry I didn't want say you was my girlfriend because my mother would have humiliated you Jane, I panicked. I'm going to cancel the date, Im sorry"

"You kissed him, I hope it was worth it was worth it maura"

"Jane im sorry, please im going to tell her the truth im sorry"

"Im so sick of this shit maura. What did I ever do to deserve this shit? I don't care about what you're mother was going to say about me! You don't think I was scared to come out to my mother, my Catholic mother! But I did it anyway because im not ashamed of you. But I guess it's different because you're rich and im a blue collar,right? Your ashamed I get it maura, I do. Just please let me go and I can handle the pain. I just need time to get over it and then I'll be okay. I mean why are we still doing this?" her voice cracked and then I broke down

"Baby I'm not ashamed of you! I just panicked can you please come over so we can talk. Im sorry"

"Maura just let it go! We can still be friends okay. Please I can't take this anymore." oh no I can't lose her.

"Please jane dont say that please, baby I need you. You promised me you wouldn't leave me! You promised nothing would come between us." I whispered

"You promised me you wouldn't hurt me anymore maura. I can't do this anymore"she whispered

"I'm so sorry jane"I sobbed "I love you baby"

"If you love, why do you keep hurting me?" She asked

"I'm sorry babe, I love you with all my heart. please come over my love" I begged.

"Fine maura" she hung up. She didn't even say she loved me. I put my phone on my night stand and I sob into my pillow. I don't want to lose her. I'd give up everything for her. I just want her back.

I don't know how long I have been crying but I felt a strong yet soft arm on my waist and snuggle up to me, it was enough to stop the sobs.

"Im sorry" I whispered

"I love you maura, I will always love you. But maybe we should break up" she said sadly. I immediately turned around and looked in her eyes. I shook my head and I sat up knocking her arm off me and I pulled my knees to my chest.

"Im so sorry baby" I started sobbing again "please don't leave me. I need you jane. I love you please don't break up with me. Promise me you won't leave me baby. Please I'm not ashamed of you. I freaked out I didn't want her to be rude to you, I'm sorry. I'll tell her right now I don't care, all I want is you Jane." I straddle her waist and pulled her up. She put her hands around my waist and pulled me closer. I wrapped my legs around her waist and put my arms around her neck and I buried my face in her warm neck and that calmed me down a little. I wasn't sobbing anymore but I still had tears in my eyes.

"Maura when you tell your mother that, she will cut you off completely. No more fancy restaurant, clothes, shoes or anything. Your only end up resenting me I don't want that." She said

"I don't use my trust fund for me. It all goes to charity, I make my own money, I live off of that. I go shopping with my money. And so what if she does, ill give it all away for you jane. I don't need it I don't want it. I want you" I mumbled I snuggled into her more. I feel so exhausted from crying, I just want to sleep in her arm.

"You're canceling that date first thing in the morning. You're going to tell your mother about us. I don't care if its in person or the phone or email. You're telling her tomorrow you got it" she said sternly

"Yes I got it" my voice is very hoarse from crying so much

"Did you kiss him again after I left" I felt her stiffen

"No, I didn't he wanted to but I refused. I shouldn't have kissed him in the first place, im sorry"I kissed her neck I felt her relax and I sighed and kissed her neck again

"Can you get off of me, please" she lets go of my waist. I pull back trying to look in her eyes but she looks away.

"Jane" she didn't say anything "baby what's wrong"

"Nothing I just want to go to sleep okay" she said and I slowly got off of her and she turned her back to me and snuggle under the covers

I got under the covers and became the big spoon

"Im so sorry baby" I whispered "I love you so much, " I kissed her shoulder and kissed her head and fell asleep.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

( sorry for the mistakes)


	11. Chapter 11

I woke up with the worst headache ever. I felt so emotionally drained. And my throat was so dry. I slowly sat up and rest my head on the head bored. I look over at my night stand and see Tylenol and a glass of water. I take the pill and sit the empty glass on the night stand. Then I look at the spot beside me where jane should be and I notice she isn't there. I get up and go to the restroom. I look in the mirror and I gasped.

My face was blotchy and my eyes was red and puffy due to crying. I looked hideous, I brushed my teeth and put my hair in a messy bun. I got my phone and I make my way to the kitchen.

I see Jane sitting on a stool at the island with her head down. I walk over to her and whispered in her ear "baby wake up"

"Im not sleep" she said with a bite to it, she tensed up when I touch her. I removed my hand.

"Thanks for the meds I had the worst headache ever babe. Would you like to be presented when I call Garrett" I asked

"Sure" she said without lifting her head. I sighed and called Garrett.

"Put it on speaker" said Jane lifting her head. She took the phone from me, put it on speaker and gave it back to me. Now she doesn't trust me, great.

"Hello"

"Its maura" I said

"Hey babe, what's up" he said, I can tell Jane was getting upset her leg started bouncing

"Please don't call me that, I'm calling to tell you that I don't want to go out with you. I'm love with my beautiful girlfriend and I made a horrible mistake" I said no longer talking to him and looking right in jane's eyes hoping she could see how sincere I am

"Wait did you just say, your girlfriend? You're a lesbian, who is it?" He asked

"My bestfriend" I said

"I knew it, that's why she left. Maura you obviously don't want to be with her. I'll pick you up at 8 still" he said

"No, the only reason I said I would go out with you was because of my mother and I didn't want her to be rude to jane. I refuse to ruin the best thing that has ever happen to me. So with that being said I'd like it if we never spoke again."

"Listen bitch that's fine by me. You and your dyke friend can be very happy together. You probably still the same weird freak you always been" he hissed, jane grabbed the phone and said

"Hey moron you can say what ever you want about me. But you will not talk about my girlfriend that way you. Let this be the last time you say anything to her. Goodbye asshole" she hung up and gave me my phone, then put her head back down.

"Baby?" Nothing "I'm sorry my love, I wish I could take it all back. I wish I could redo it, you have to believe me sweetie" nothing "Jay please don't shut me out, im sorry"

"Your mother" she said, I sighed and called my mother. I put it on speaker.

"Maura dear" my mother said

"Hi mother I called to tell you that yesterday I made a horrible mistake. I'm actually not single, I'm dating my beautiful best friend detective jane rizzoli. She's the one you met last night"

I said

"Maura, are you kidding me?you would rather settle for a blue collar detective. Have you lost your mind? Your reputation is going to be ruined maura."

"Im not settling first of all. Second of all I would rather have jane who cherishes me, love me, holds me when I cry, accepts me for who I am. And those are just some of the things jane does, then to be stuck in a love less relationships, with some arrogant self absorbed, rich snob asshole like garrett Fairfield anyday of the week. Oh and please don't tell me she's after me for my money, because that's a damn lie first of all your not going to disrespect her like that and second money doesn't matter. It really doesn't. Im happy mother, and I don't care if she flipped burgers for a living I would still her. why can't you be happy for me. It's not about you or who you want me to be with its about me and my happiness that's the only thing that should matter to you mother" I said on the verge of tears. She silent for a minute and then she said

"But our circle-" all the pain I feel is replaced by anger

"To hell with the social circle Constance, I'm your daughter!" I yelled, I take a couple of deep breaths and I calmly say" this isn't going anywhere, I know now where I stand in your life and I just want you to know that it hurts a lot, and i wish you nothing but the best in life. And even though you nor father never once told me this, I just want you to know that I love you and I'm always here for you, bye Constance" I said and I hung up and sat ths phone on the island. All I want right now is my girlfriends' arms around me, but that can't happen because I fucked up, again. I need a drink, I walk over to my cabinet and pulled down a wine glass. I walk over to my liquor cabinet and I grabbed a bottle of whiskey and I poured me a glass. I bring the bottle with me and I sit at the island and gulped it down, then poured me another one and did the same thing. By the time I had my third glass jane finally looked up at me

"Maur, its 9 In the morning why are you drinking" jane said to me as she got up and walked over to me she tried to take the whiskey away but I moved it. I started drinking it from the bottle. This time she took the whiskey from me, she put it where it belongs and stood in front of me. I giggled at her

"Why are you *hiccup*taking my whiskey from me" I giggled at the hiccup, im a little tipsy.

"Maura" jane said

"Jane I'm not ashamed of you, I did it to protect you. But you don't believe me." I sighed then giggled when I almost fell but jane caught me "you are so strong janie. I guess you want to break up with me, right? I'm sorry that I hurt you, I'm sorry baby I'm really *hiccup* sorry. I hope we can still be friends because I need you in my life." I kissed her one last time then gently pushed her out of my way I grabbed my phone and I went into my room. I crawled under the covers and put my phone on the night stand. I silently cried into my pillow. I feel the bed dip on jane side, she gets under the covers with me and spoon me.

"Stop crying" she whispers in my ear and kissed it, I calmed my self down "It's going to be okay, I love you" her hand traveled to my ass and squeezed it. I moaned and she slapped it.

"Fuck jane"I whimpered "stop it "

"Why" she asked

"Because you're sending me mixed signals." I whispered

"Look at me maura" she asked, I turned my body around to face her. She moved her hand down to my thigh and lifts it up and rest it on her hip. I move closer to her I thread my fingers through her hair. She leaned in and kissed me, I sighed against her lips. The kiss was way to short for my liking, I whimpered when she pulled back.

"I love you so much maura, I love you with all my heart, and relationships are not perfect. We are going to have our share of argument some worse than others, but I believe in us. I believe in our love. There is going to be times when we're so pissed off at each other. There is going to be times we hurt each other, we're human. But you know what at the end of the day, our love will bring us back to each other. I love you and I want to spend my life with you. I want us to work, we're going to make it maura." She kissed the tears I had away "no more crying beautiful, we are going to be okay" she kissed me

"I love you jane, im so sorry, I cant say it enough. you're way to good for me. I know i have to earn your trust over again and I will, I promise I wll" I said

"Im not going to lie, I don't really trust you. You don't trust me because you think im going to do something to hurt you the way you hurt me. But you know what, we will work on it okay" she said

"Do you forgive me" I whispered

"I remember what dr Carter said, the only person I hurt by holding a grudge and not forgiving someone is me. I forgive you maura. I do I truly believe that I forgive you. And you know what I forgive everyone who has ever hurt me. And you know what maura it feels really good, it feels great" she said with the brightest smile I have ever seen "You know life is to short, and we may have trust issues but I'm confident that we will work through it. I'm going to take a leap of faith here" she jumps off the bed and runs out the room two minutes later, she came back in the room and walked over to me. I moved to the edge of the bed and she kneeled down infront of and pulled a black velvet box out of her pocket and opened it. I grasp and covered my mouth.

"Baby" is all I can say

"I know I want to spend the rest of my life with you. It may be years on top of years before we are ready to get married. But I still want to ask. Will you marry?"

Im socked, I never thought I would get here again. I mean just a few minutes ago I wasn't sure if I had a girlfriend. And the ring is beautiful. It looks like a Crimson Rose 1.58 ctw. Rose Cut Flower Diamond. Wait a minute this is not my ring.

"Baby the ring is beautiful, but this isn't my ring. I like the one you gave me the first time." then I gasp"I threw it at you, I called it cheap, oh baby im so sorry. I loved that ring."

"No, this new ring represents our new beginning. So I'll ask you again, will you marry me maura Dorthea isles?

With tears rolling down my face and with a smile, I whispered

"Yes, I'll marry you baby"

I know we have long road ahead of us, but I'm confident we'll get there.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

(well this is the end guys :( I hope you enjoyed the story. Sorry for the mistakes) P.s there's a sequel to this story and I'll post it real soon :)


	12. New story

I just published a sequel to this book call "Learning to Trust" check it out thanks.


End file.
